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About Literature / Hobbyist Member Angela Mary McCannFemale/United Kingdom Group :iconhellsing-knight: Hellsing-Knight
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I can feel it moving.
I’m sat at my desk, staring out of the window, like I do every night.
10:00pm.
A whole hour.
Just staring.
It’s become a basic part of my life, and nothing has changed in years. Jenny started called it using routine as a coping mechanism, OCD therapy or something like that. But I do use this room for other things; storage, painting, and occaisionally as a spare room. So that isn’t its only use, but it’s certainly the main one. It’s also a good place to keep that photo.
That photo.
It’s pinned to the right of my desk, and I’m aware of the change but I don’t look at it, not yet. I don’t need to know what’s on it, that image was branded on my brain long ago.
I’m on it as a little girl, about 10 at the time. My hair is cut into a short bob, a style I always hated but was more practical at the time. I’m wearing a pink top beneath a blue suspenders, blue shoes and white socks. Another thing I hated. At least I’m smiling. And I’m not alone in the photo, there are others around me. At the far left is a big face with blank eyes, far larger than it should be with the hint of an arm next to it. Beside that is a young boy in a pirate costume, his head large and bulbous with large anxious eyes, like the head of a china baby doll. Then on the other side is another pirate, his face obscured by a huge bushy moustache, huge chipmunk teeth and a comically large monocle. And finally next to him is someone very thin and bony, wearing a tall patchwork top hat with a similar style cape down his back. His eyes are glassy even in the picture, looking too big for his skull. And his jaw is off to the left side, like it’s dislocated.
His jaw is off to the left side.
His jaw is off to the right side.
His jaw…
I finally look at it, staring at my younger self and her posse of puppets, larger than all yet somehow tiny. And I look at his jaw on the wrong side of his face, slightly agape.
“Why does your jaw move like that?”
It feels like an age that I wait for an answer, but it can’t be more than a second before I jump up, my chair thudding loudly against the floor, nearly tripping me as I step forward and tear the picture right between his glass eyes.
“To grind your skin.”
The answer comes from my voice, not his.
I stop.
I stare.
Then I pull out my mobile and call Jenny. Looks like I’ll need that therapy session after all.
Wrong Side of the Face
So my creative block hasn't completely gone, but my fangirlisms seem to have kicked in all of a sudden. For those who can't tell, this is a Candle Cove fanfic (the first time I've ever done a creepypasta fanfic) about an older Jodie Silver (the actress who played Janice) and I actually wrote this in response to a prompt for my creative writing society. It's nothing fantastic, in fact like most fanfics it feels like one of my weakest pieces but oh well. I've also got a profile for an older Janice concept that I'll be uploading after this. This is not a return to the creative block by any means, but I always feel good putting something on this site. 
As always, please leave feedback and constructive criticisms. 
I don't own Candle Cove, the original story belongs to Kris Staub. 
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Name: Jodie Silver

Alias: Janice

Age: 31

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Asexual

Status: Single

Appearance: Standing at about 5”6”, with shoulder length blond hair, blue eyes and a fairly average physique. Often wears trousers, boots, long-sleeved and sometimes high-necked tops and a jacket when going out. Sometimes wears glasses when reading or using a computer.

Personality: Overall Jodie is quite an outgoing and friendly person, with a dry, sarcastic sense of humour but a lot of kindness and generosity. She does have a tendancy to tease people, and while not necessarily short tempered she’s not afraid to stand up for herself, even if that means getting her involved in a fight. Her biggest insecurity is with physical contact, particularly anything skin-to-skin. She identifies as asexual because she is not comfortable in the slightest with any skin contact beyond kissing or holding hands, however this doesn’t mean she doesn’t want a relationship; it would just have to be a platonic one, something that has so far escaped her. This insecurity carries over to her everyday actions, as she often has nothing but her hands and face exposed in public or at home, wears a full-body wet-suit swimming and is notoriously quick at taking shower. Besides this the only other thing that bothers her is memories of her the Candle Cove show, but while it’s still a niggling memory she hasn’t let that old fear completely consume her life.

Hobbies: Fencing, Acting, Painting, Cooking, Swimming.  

Backstory: Jodie wanted to be an actress from a very young age, getting into a young drama club at before a friend of her fathers spoke to her parents about putting her on a TV show called Candle Cove due to the previous actress leaving. They agreed and she got her first job, taking the role of Janice for the second season of the show. It was soon clear why the other actress has left, and Jodie found herself in a very disturbing experience; even just watching the first season to get an idea of the character left her unsettled. Between the puppets, the stories and the messed-up director, Jodie found herself having many nightmares about the show (particularly after the screaming episode). When production shut down Jodie and her parents moved away, but she continued to suffer trauma as a result of the show and started getting therapy, helping to deal with the nightmares and her sudden aversion to showing too much skin. Thankfully they calmed down after a couple of years, and she managed to complete her education fairly calmly. College was the best time, where she started taking up fencing (out of a subconcious instinct) and painting, even managing to win a fencing championship (with some comments that she was like a 'swash-buckling pirate'). Despite getting a drama degree and still loving the idea of being an actress, Jodie never managed to push herself back into acting properly and ended up with a job as a customer service advisor instead. She moved into a small city apartment, still keeping contact with her parents and having a decent social circle but generally being alone. She still has  occaisional therapy visits and her insecurities about her skin means she can only deal with platonic relationships, making holding onto a partner difficult. But she's manage to get a reasonably stable life, only keeping a single photo as a reminder of her time on the show. 

___________________________________________________________

This is a concept that has been playing in my head for a while, looking at a way in which the actress who played Janice could have grown up. This isn't the first time someone did this, it the story Candle Cove: Tales of the Laughing Stock explored this in the documentary style of the story having an interview with Jodie Silver, but this is my personal imagining.
The biggest thing that inspired it is all of these big fan stories that appear with all the creepypasta characters usually split into Slenderman's or Zalgo's side (and we always root for Slenderman... don't know why as if this actually happened we would be screwed either way but oh well). And while those stories usually focus on more characters, comedy or relationships, there is this big split going on (examples of what I mean are I Eat Pasta for Breakfast by :iconchibi-works: Adventures with Jeff the Killer by :icon
Sapphiresenthiss: and The Seer by :iconxMadame-Macabrex: )
Those stories are awesome, but I've lately been thinking about if there was one of these big stories that mixed all the pastas together and if was focused more on the actual battles, a full-on creepypasta war between different sides with every character at their most violent, most disturbing and generally darkest (because of course that's what I'm interested, but that does not make the aforementioned stories ANY LESS AWESOME! THEY ARE AMAZING AND YOU SHOULD ALL READ THEM!!!). Of course Candle Cove is my favourite creepypasta so I'd want that to be involved, and the main characters I'd want from it would be Janice and Skintaker. Then it came to thinking about what sides they'd be on and what they'd be like. Skintaker was easy; he'd be on Zalgo's side as one of the higher generals due to his power. Janice was less easy. Originally I came up with the idea of Skintaker turning an older Janice into a living skeleton like him, therefore putting her on Zalgo's side and actively attacking or even killing her old friends (Guys, please consider carefully before asking for more details on this idea... I love it in a twisted sense but I'm also highly disturbed that I came up with it in the first place) but later on I thought about having her on the opposite side. That's how this idea of having the actress Jodie getting involved in all of this came about, with Zalgo making Skintaker and the other puppets and forcing her to confront her childhood trauma.
It's probably never going to come about that way (unless someone does make that roleplay) but it got me exited about the idea of exploring an older Jodie because this is a great potential for psychological development in a character. So that's my take on her, it's written very crappily and it isn't here for any other purpose than getting my idea down somewhere. Honestly you should feel free to ignore this, it's really not got any purpose to it. 
Well that was long-winded as hell. Oh well, later guys!
  • Mood: Triumph
  • Listening to: Tais Toi Mon Coeur
  • Reading: This
  • Watching: Cinema Snob - Shock Treatment
  • Playing: Nothing
  • Eating: Nothing (That shall be remedied soon)
  • Drinking: Blackcurrent Juice
Got my second one up, feel free to read, comment and vote for the next one.

angelwolfchild.hubpages.com/hu…
  • Mood: Triumph
  • Listening to: Tais Toi Mon Coeur
  • Reading: This
  • Watching: Cinema Snob - Shock Treatment
  • Playing: Nothing
  • Eating: Nothing (That shall be remedied soon)
  • Drinking: Blackcurrent Juice
So remember in my last journal when I said there had been a very special event regarding my writing that I couldn't tell you about yet?

Well I'm allowed to tell you now.

Over the summer I entered The Big Idea Competition, a writing competition where you submit an idea for a childrens story (from 9 - older teens) and the winners get a chance to have their idea turned into a book, tv show, film or stage-play. There are 6 winners, all of whom win £1000 cash and the overall winner gets a guaranteed book deal while the 5 runners up will have the chance to in the future.

I'm one of the 5 runners up. 

And just for the proof: thebigideacompetition.co.uk/

I freaked out completely when I found out but I am overjoyed that this happened at all. Huge congratulations to the overall winner Neal Jackson, I'm totally getting the book when it comes out. 

I've already shared this on facebook today, and previously with my close family and friends, but I was especially excited to have the chance to share this news with you guys.

Know why? This is the idea I entered.

'The Fandom' - Six friends and fans of the book series ‘Heartstrings’ hit an accident on the road, only to awaken in the fictional world they love. With their OC personas they think they can survive this change, but maybe their adoration has left them blind to the real danger they are in.

Do you see? You guys are the reason I won. You are the ones who gave me inspiration for an idea that has the chance of becoming a real piece of media.

I have long been inspired and fascinated by fandoms, fanboys, fangirls and just the general communities built up by these people. Creepypasta fans, Whoovians, Trekkies, Bronies, Otakus. Every single one of you has made such an impact on my life that I want to write about it and share it with the world.

For a few more details on the idea, my concept is based around a couple of questions: How well can an OC integrate with canon characters? Would you be able to survive in a 'self-insert' situation if it played out realistically? And where do you draw the line between Canon and Headcanon? Using these as a basis, my idea is to put these six people (representing six different types of fans, although there are many more) into their desired fictional world and see how they would realistically deal with it. And spoiler warning, one of them dies soon after starting. It's both a commentary and criticism of fandoms, seeing both the extremes they can go to and the passion they display. And the judges thought it was good enough to become a real story.  

So yes, to all of my friends, my watchers, and anyone I have ever come in contact with on this sight, fanfiction.net, youtube, even facebook... you all helped me win. 

And as a runner up there's only a chance the story will get adapted, but it is going to get written either way. I promise that this is going to be a full, published story. Because more than anything, this demonstrates how brilliant fandoms are and how much they hold a place in peoples lives. 

Thank you to every single one of you. You made this possible. And I love you all for it. 
  • Mood: Triumph
  • Listening to: Tais Toi Mon Coeur
  • Reading: This
  • Watching: Cinema Snob - Shock Treatment
  • Playing: Nothing
  • Eating: Nothing (That shall be remedied soon)
  • Drinking: Blackcurrent Juice
Hey guys :D

So it's been a llllllllooooooonnnnngggg time since I was last on DA. I had a very unexpected hiatus and I feel bad for disappearing on so many people without warning. 

I vanished for a couple of reasons, mostly because of that really annoying thing called Life getting in the way. You see I'm currently about halfway through the first semester of my final year of Egyptology at University. I'm doing my dissertation, preparing for my final exams that will determine my overal grade and trying to get everything together for Masters next year (including organising a house which will happen easily enough as soon as I can get a job... which is not working out very well :( ) so that's taking up a huge chunk of time. So yeah, still loving every moment of it but man is it draining.

The other reason is that I've once again hit a creative stump. Now I know that I've complained about this a couple of times and as creative people yourselves, you're probably used to it yourselves and thinking 'suck it up and get on with it'. However... I've been in this for well over a month now. To the point where I am struggling to come up with anything. When I need to it works, but even in my creative writing society I'm having trouble coming up with ideas and when I write, it doesn't feel right. Whether it's considered good or bad is purely subjective, but I don't feel any heart in it; it doesn't feel like MY writing if you get what I mean. And I actually find that quite depressing, I guess I never realised just how much writing was a vital part of my life. 

There have been encouraging developments to get me out of that slump, specifically a very special event that occurred recently. Unfortunatley I cannot tell you what that is yet (for reasons that will become clear), but rest assured once I get the all-clear I will do a full journal post explaining it because this could not have been possible without all of you supporting me and helping me develop. However even with that I am still finding myself in a stump when it comes to creative writing. 

Saying that, I have found something that has peaked my interest again. Non-fiction writing. Some of you may have noticed that I've been using my journals alot for discussions, rants or analysis'. Some of you also know that I have a hubpages account where I do creepypasta reviews. And I've also been watching many analytical and reviewing shows online. All of this is culminating together to give me something different. 

Here's how things are going to work. I am going to take a break, for however long it takes, from anything to do with creative fiction. No characters, no stories, nothing like that. I will return to them in time for now I'm going to focus my thoughts on non-fiction writing. The creepypasta reviews are something I'm going to take up again and I'm going to start re-developing my short-lived 'Theory Thoughts' section, with a much less structured style and more in-depth content. I will happily accept ideas and topics you'd like to see tackled and as always feedback is happily accepted. 

Unfortunately this is going to impact something else; my roleplaying. To all of my current partners I apologise but my head is not with it. I will endeavour to respond as much as I can but honestly don't expect anything serious for a while. If that bothers you to a point where you don't think it's worth it, then by all means tell me you don't want to continue. I won't be offended and I won't hold it against you. But if any of you are patient enough to let me continue to respond whenever I get the inspiration and don't mind having long breaks between replies, I thank you and I commend you.

So that's it basically. I'm going to focus on reviews and analysis, stay away from fiction for a while, and try and slowly push myself back into things. Thanks for reading, hope you guys enjoy the new stuff and I look forward to getting back into DA (hopefully without a sudden dissappearance). 

P.S. What happened to DA while I was gone? For the most part it's the same but these new layouts are still confusing.
  • Mood: Optimism
  • Listening to: Tais Toi Mon Coeur
  • Reading: This
  • Watching: South Park - Creme Fraiche
  • Playing: Nothing
  • Eating: Nothing (That shall be remedied soon)
  • Drinking: Lemon Juice

Name: Jodie Silver

Alias: Janice

Age: 31

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Asexual

Status: Single

Appearance: Standing at about 5”6”, with shoulder length blond hair, blue eyes and a fairly average physique. Often wears trousers, boots, long-sleeved and sometimes high-necked tops and a jacket when going out. Sometimes wears glasses when reading or using a computer.

Personality: Overall Jodie is quite an outgoing and friendly person, with a dry, sarcastic sense of humour but a lot of kindness and generosity. She does have a tendancy to tease people, and while not necessarily short tempered she’s not afraid to stand up for herself, even if that means getting her involved in a fight. Her biggest insecurity is with physical contact, particularly anything skin-to-skin. She identifies as asexual because she is not comfortable in the slightest with any skin contact beyond kissing or holding hands, however this doesn’t mean she doesn’t want a relationship; it would just have to be a platonic one, something that has so far escaped her. This insecurity carries over to her everyday actions, as she often has nothing but her hands and face exposed in public or at home, wears a full-body wet-suit swimming and is notoriously quick at taking shower. Besides this the only other thing that bothers her is memories of her the Candle Cove show, but while it’s still a niggling memory she hasn’t let that old fear completely consume her life.

Hobbies: Fencing, Acting, Painting, Cooking, Swimming.  

Backstory: Jodie wanted to be an actress from a very young age, getting into a young drama club at before a friend of her fathers spoke to her parents about putting her on a TV show called Candle Cove due to the previous actress leaving. They agreed and she got her first job, taking the role of Janice for the second season of the show. It was soon clear why the other actress has left, and Jodie found herself in a very disturbing experience; even just watching the first season to get an idea of the character left her unsettled. Between the puppets, the stories and the messed-up director, Jodie found herself having many nightmares about the show (particularly after the screaming episode). When production shut down Jodie and her parents moved away, but she continued to suffer trauma as a result of the show and started getting therapy, helping to deal with the nightmares and her sudden aversion to showing too much skin. Thankfully they calmed down after a couple of years, and she managed to complete her education fairly calmly. College was the best time, where she started taking up fencing (out of a subconcious instinct) and painting, even managing to win a fencing championship (with some comments that she was like a 'swash-buckling pirate'). Despite getting a drama degree and still loving the idea of being an actress, Jodie never managed to push herself back into acting properly and ended up with a job as a customer service advisor instead. She moved into a small city apartment, still keeping contact with her parents and having a decent social circle but generally being alone. She still has  occaisional therapy visits and her insecurities about her skin means she can only deal with platonic relationships, making holding onto a partner difficult. But she's manage to get a reasonably stable life, only keeping a single photo as a reminder of her time on the show. 

___________________________________________________________

This is a concept that has been playing in my head for a while, looking at a way in which the actress who played Janice could have grown up. This isn't the first time someone did this, it the story Candle Cove: Tales of the Laughing Stock explored this in the documentary style of the story having an interview with Jodie Silver, but this is my personal imagining.
The biggest thing that inspired it is all of these big fan stories that appear with all the creepypasta characters usually split into Slenderman's or Zalgo's side (and we always root for Slenderman... don't know why as if this actually happened we would be screwed either way but oh well). And while those stories usually focus on more characters, comedy or relationships, there is this big split going on (examples of what I mean are I Eat Pasta for Breakfast by :iconchibi-works: Adventures with Jeff the Killer by :icon
Sapphiresenthiss: and The Seer by :iconxMadame-Macabrex: )
Those stories are awesome, but I've lately been thinking about if there was one of these big stories that mixed all the pastas together and if was focused more on the actual battles, a full-on creepypasta war between different sides with every character at their most violent, most disturbing and generally darkest (because of course that's what I'm interested, but that does not make the aforementioned stories ANY LESS AWESOME! THEY ARE AMAZING AND YOU SHOULD ALL READ THEM!!!). Of course Candle Cove is my favourite creepypasta so I'd want that to be involved, and the main characters I'd want from it would be Janice and Skintaker. Then it came to thinking about what sides they'd be on and what they'd be like. Skintaker was easy; he'd be on Zalgo's side as one of the higher generals due to his power. Janice was less easy. Originally I came up with the idea of Skintaker turning an older Janice into a living skeleton like him, therefore putting her on Zalgo's side and actively attacking or even killing her old friends (Guys, please consider carefully before asking for more details on this idea... I love it in a twisted sense but I'm also highly disturbed that I came up with it in the first place) but later on I thought about having her on the opposite side. That's how this idea of having the actress Jodie getting involved in all of this came about, with Zalgo making Skintaker and the other puppets and forcing her to confront her childhood trauma.
It's probably never going to come about that way (unless someone does make that roleplay) but it got me exited about the idea of exploring an older Jodie because this is a great potential for psychological development in a character. So that's my take on her, it's written very crappily and it isn't here for any other purpose than getting my idea down somewhere. Honestly you should feel free to ignore this, it's really not got any purpose to it. 
Well that was long-winded as hell. Oh well, later guys!
  • Mood: Triumph
  • Listening to: Tais Toi Mon Coeur
  • Reading: This
  • Watching: Cinema Snob - Shock Treatment
  • Playing: Nothing
  • Eating: Nothing (That shall be remedied soon)
  • Drinking: Blackcurrent Juice

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ANGELWOLFCHILD
Angela Mary McCann
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Current Residence: Liverpool
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Personal Quote: "Thus I draw from the absurd three consequences, which are my revolt, my freedom, and my passion. By the mere activity of consciousness I transform into a rule of life what was an invitation to death, and I refuse suicide." Albert Camus - The Myth of Sisyphus
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Luxara Featured By Owner 3 days ago
Thanks for the fav :)
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MatesLaurentiu Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you for faving my drider, much appreciated. :)
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You're welcome :D
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Thanks for the fave! :glomp:
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thanks for the favourite
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